Tomatoes and Tsunderes
by candy4yourEYEZ
Summary: A collection of fics centering around fem!Lovino and Antonio, based off a profile copy/paste. Fem!Romano/Spain
1. When She Walks Away, Mad: Follow Her

Lovina jumped off the couch, fuming. A very confused Antonio was left on the couch as Lovina stalked down the hallway, trying to remember what had gone wrong. It had been a wonderful afternoon; he'd snuggled up with his Lovi for their siesta (after she'd fallen asleep, if he tried to sleep next to her when she was awake she would hit him! Antonio could deal with a violent girlfriend, but he wasn't a masochist!) and when she woke up, her face was bright red and she was staring at his head (which was pillowed on her chest)… Oh… _Oh!_

He'd called her a tomato! She normally got mad, but why was she going away now?

_Follow her_, a voice seemed to say in his head. _When she walks away from you, mad… Follow her!_

"Thank you!" Antonio said cheerfully to the voice, and ran after his Lovi. "Lovi, Lovi, what's wrong? Are you mad at me again? Why are you mad? Please tell me so I can make it better!"

"You fucking bastard," Lovina hissed, "I am not a fucking tomato, and I am **not** as cute as one! Can't you come up with something better to call me? And stop being so fucking oblivious!"

"… Alright then!" Antonio grinned. "I'll say it in my head. But my mouth will just call you Lovi! Or Lovinita, Lovivi, or something cute like that! But not a tomato! Because you're cuter than a tomato, and-"

"You can shut up," Lovina placed a hand over Antonio's mouth, looking exasperated and somewhat pacified. "Just…" She scowled slightly, and looked down. "Don't call me a tomato. They taste good and everything, but… just don't."

Antonio licked her hand, and grabbed it when she tried to pull it away. "Ok, Lovi-love. I promise."

Lovina struggled for a moment, her expression switching from amused to annoyed to calculating. "Not that any of your **other** nicknames aren't annoying, it's just that-"

"Shh," Antonio put his own, significantly larger hand, over Lovina's mouth. "Let's get back to our siesta."

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

Ok, I found this in someone's profile (the whole "if she walks away, yadda, yadda, yadda) so I decided that it fit fem!Lovi and Antonio perfectly! Therefore, I am gonna write short one-shots with the little saying thingies.

Less than three, less than three


	2. When She Stares At Your Mouth: Kiss Her

Antonio and Lovina had been at the meeting for a long time; it was delayed at first by Prussia and Canada showing up late (with some suspicious marks on Canada's neck), then by France and England getting into an all out fistfight and everyone else generally acting up.

The two tomato lovers were sitting next to each other, and Lovina, at least, could tell that nothing was going to get better. So, naturally (not that she'd ever admit it) she spent the time staring at Antonio. His tousled brown hair, bright green eyes, and his perfect, luscious lips…

Lovina shook her head slightly, willing the memory out of her mind. Antonio's wonderful lips, and the way they felt when they were pressed against her own, so smooth and lovely and-

"Lovi?" Antonio poked her, leaning over and narrowly avoiding a splintered chair leg that whooshed over his head. "You're really quiet today… is something wrong?"

"No, you idiot, nothing's wrong…" Lovina's voice was calm for once, if a bit distracted, and her eyes were drifting from Antonio's eyes to his lips. Or, at least, Antonio thought she was staring at his lips. What else would she be looking at? Did he have a piece of tomato on his face?

_When she stares at your mouth…_ Hey! It was the voice again! _Kiss her._ Was it his conscience? Antonio didn't think so, consciences were supposed to talk about right and wrong and that kind of stuff… Maybe it was his inner Francis? _KISS HER! _Ok, definitely his inner Francis. But… it did give good advice…

Antonio decided that the meeting was hopeless at this point, and leaned in to kiss Lovina.

Who, surprisingly, reciprocated, tangling a hand in Antonio's dark curls and kissing back fiercely, parting her lips to let Antonio slip his tongue in and it was just so _warm_, so _sweet,_ so-

"WHOOT! TONY'S GETTING' SOME!" Prussia yelled, effectively ending the ongoing arguments. Lovina slid back into her own chair (she had unknowingly moved so she was sitting on top of both her and Antonio's chair arms), blushing crimson.

"**Everyone!"** Germany boomed, **"back to work! **And…" he pursed his mouth, "Spain, Romano…" He paused, before sighing and giving up. "If you're going to continue, kindly use the hall closet instead of being a further distraction. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for, bastard," Lovina muttered, before looking over at Antonio as he tugged on her sleeve. "What?"

"So… About that hall closet…"


	3. When She Hits You: Grab Her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

Lovina was never in the best mood in the mornings. She was either in a walking- dead type of state, where she would barely talk and seemed to concentrate more on not tripping over furniture than insulting Antonio. Her other morning mood was one even Antonio found a bit scary; rage mode. Something apparently inconsequential would set her off, and it was like every volcano on earth exploding simultaneously. And the sun imploding. Coupled with a few dozen earthquakes. Anyone within a five mile radius was subject to her wrath… Something Antonio preferred not to think about, because, quite frankly, it scared the shit out of him when Lovina was like this. Thankfully, that mood didn't come around that often, maybe once a year or so.

His first clue that Lovina was in the latter mood was when she trudged downstairs in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and, upon seeing him, shoved him into the nearest wall. **Hard**. "Out of my way, you fucking idiotic bastard," she growled, and stomped over to the tomato bowl. "… Are you fucking kidding me." Her voice was dangerously quiet, not a good sign. "We're fucking out of fucking tomatoes. When I find out who's fault this is, I am going to carve a slit in their stomach and hang them with their own intestines, and then take out their spleen and eat it in front of them."

"Lovi, that's not nice," Antonio chastised, only realizing that it might have been a bad idea to say that when Lovina flew at him, fists up, and then punched him in the stomach. "Oof, Lovi," he gasped out, "that hurt!"

"Take it like a fucking man, bastard!" Lovina hissed, and continued punching and hitting him with all her might- which was considerable for a girl that spent most of her war experience running away.

_When she pushes you or hits you_- that voice was here again! Finally! It could help him deal with his adorable Lovi, even if she wasn't being quite so adorable at the moment! _Grab her and don't let go_. Antonio questioned the wisdom of this statement for a second, before Lovina kicked his shin in a way he knew was going to bruise the next morning.

"I'm sorry, Lovi," Antonio dodged one of her wilder punches and grabbed her, dragging his fiery Italian towards him until she was pressed against him, not able to move. "But you can be really violent sometimes." She tried struggling, but Antonio determinedly held on, wrapping his arms around her and hooking one of his legs behind her knees so she couldn't move a foot and gain some leverage.

"Let me go, you stupid bastard!" Lovina screamed, somewhat muffled, into his chest. "Let me go so I can kick your stupid ass!"

"Sorry Lovi," he repeated, slowly moving backwards until he was able to flop down on the mattress they kept on the floor (Lovina insisted- and with good reason!- that Francis have a mattress downstairs in the hallway, so when he slept over after a night of drinking there were several locked doors and a hell of a lot of house between him and her), dragging a still fuming Lovina with him.

They lay there for quite a while, Antonio hugging Lovina closely and whispering in Spanish, terms of endearment and pleas for her to calm down. Finally (read: forty five minutes later), Lovina relaxed and stopped swearing at him.

"You can let me go now, Antonio," she mumbled, emotionally and physically drained from her huge tantrum.

"Aw, Lovi, but I like hugging you!" Lovina looked up at her idiot, his bruised face beaming, and suddenly felt a rush of gratitude towards whatever reason had landed her with someone that could put up with her- anyone else would have reported abuse and left by now.

"Sorry," she murmured, burying her face in his shirt, feeling Antonio's arms loosen.

"For what? You're just being you, and if you weren't you then I might not like you for who you really are! I mean, I might like the other you that you'd be if you weren't you, but you just being you is fine! Besides, you're so cute that it makes up for fighting!" Antonio tilted his head downwards and planted a kiss on her forehead, and Lovina could hear the smile in his voice when he said "And I'll never let you go."

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

… Lovina goes batshit insane and Antonio just hugs her.

Myth tested, results: plausible.

LOL sorry couldn't resist ^^ Well, anyways, hope you liked this new installment!

Less than three. Less than three


	4. When She Cusses At You:Say You Love Her

When she starts cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

* * *

Bad language was pretty much a fact of life, if you had to live with or near Lovina. One out of every two words that came out of her mouth was profanic, so those that really cared about her had learned to read between the swears to figure out what she really meant.

Feliciano just hugged his sister when she was acting like this; Antonio merely tuned it out.

So, it came as no surprise when one Saturday morning:

"Hey, bastard, where the fuck is my breakfast?" Lovina had somehow, without Antonio noticing, gotten downstairs and was sitting at the kitchen table, tapping her foot impatiently. "Really, you've been up for, like, a whole fucking hour and you didn't even make me my damn breakfast? What the hell is fucking wrong with you, you dickhead? I want my fucking breakfast now, dammit!"

Antonio continued what he was doing (making paella), humming quietly to himself and letting Lovina get all the anger out of her system.

But, ten minutes later, Lovina was still going strong, and Antonio was starting to get a little bit worried. Normally, she threw a few insults then sat down to wait for her food, but today she had been… 'dissing,' as America called it, Antonio, his country, his culture, he himself, his house, and any other topic that came to mind that was Antonio related and could be used with a lot of cuss words. Had he done something wrong? Why was she acting like this?

_What should I do_… Antonio bit his lip and wracked his brain for ways he'd gotten Lovina to stop in the past… There weren't any.

_When she starts cussing at you_… Ah! It was the France voice again!

_Hola, la voz de Francia!_ Antonio thought back, not considering the oddity of talking to a voice in one's own head- and not realizing that he had stopped moving as he spoke to the France voice.

… _Just listen to what I have to say._ The voice sounded annoyed. _When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her._

Personally, Antonio thought that it wasn't going to work. But… The France voice had been right before! He snapped out of his mental realm, only to see Lovina right in front of him, shouting angrily in Italian and poking his chest.

"_Te quiero, Lovi_," Antonio beamed before leaning down and pressing his lips to her own.

And as he watched his Lovi gasp and stutter a few times, before suddenly turning red and hugging him, he decided to not doubt the France voice ever again.

Antonio reinforced that decision a few hours later, when he was laying in bed, one arm draped over a naked and now- sleeping Lovina.

Definitely not doubting France's voice.

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

I am sosososososo sorry over updating this a day late. It was my family's turn to host the Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) dinner last night, which meant that the second I got home from school, I had to clean and cook. And as I'm typing this now, I should actually be getting ready to go to services...

HOla la voz de Francia= hello, France's voice!

Less than three. Less than three


	5. When She's Quiet: Ask Her What's Wrong

Lovina was rarely silent. She was one huge ball of angry, nervous, excited energy. Even when she slept, she talked- Antonio would know. He also knew that one could 'hypothetically' have a serious conversation with the Italian when she slept, and that she'd say things she normally wouldn't dare voice. Hypothetically, of course, because it wasn't like he was just watching her sleep or something…

Which was why Antonio was baffled when he walked into the living room and saw Lovina curled up in 'the idiot's favorite chair,' staring at the wall with a blank expression on her face.

Antonio had a mini panic attack- **What if the mafia poisoned her? What if she had a heart attack? What if Feli had gotten pregnant and Lovina was contemplating murdering Germany? Or maybe she had already murdered Germany and was considering the consequences! What if Francis got to her?- **the last thought made him rush over and haul Lovina out of the chair, checking for tell tale bruises.

"Lovi? Lovi? Lovi, answer me!" Antonio had to shake her a few times before Lovina binked, and the dazed look in her eyes vanished.

"… Antonio?" Her voice was unusually quiet.

Antonio didn't know what to do. She'd just been in a trance or something, what if he answered and she got even more angry?

_Ask her what's wrong_. Antonio wasn't sure the France voice knew what it was talking about. After all, had it ever had to deal with a pissed off Lovina? Probably not, seeing as it lived in his mind. _Just ask her what's wrong_! It sounded irritated, and Antonio didn't want to know how a voice in his head could mess with him if he disagreed with it, so… Best to go with what it said!

"Lovina… what's wrong?" Antonio had all his attention focused on the girl- no, she wasn't a girl anymore, Lovi had grown up- in front of him, so he noticed when she blinked back tears. "Lovi, Lovi, tell me what's wrong! I can't fix it if you won't tell me!" He was frantic, why wouldn't Lovi talk?

"… When you saved me from Turkey, way back then…" Her voice was barely audible, "did you do it for my land? To tell Turkey that you weren't afraid? Or… did you do it for _me_?"

Antonio almost laughed, but stopped himself just in time.

"Lovina, I did it for you. There was no way I was letting Turkey take you away." He pulled Lovina into an embrace, wondering why she had thought of that war, that war that happened oh so many years ago.

"France said so." Had she read his mind or something? "He came over while you were gone, and he said that the only reason you defended me was because you wanted my land, and to stop Turkey from trying to attack again. He said that you only liked me afterwards, when I apologized." Lovina mumbled into his chest, slowly wrapping her arms around Antonio's waist for reassurance.

"I know Francis is one of my best friends, but he can be an ass. Don't listen to him." Antonio spun around and flopped into the chair, yanking Lovina onto his lap. "And you're going to sit here until you feel better. My lap is yours~"

Lovina smiled at that, and yes, it was a small smile, but it was a smile nevertheless.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

Yeah, can you tell that I wrote this after watching the latest episode XD Romano was so cute when he apologized~

OH AND if any of you read Choose Me Or Your Pyre (my other spamano multi-chapter), AN AMAZING PERSON DID FANART (just take out the spaces)  
ht tp : / / hugging leonardo .deviantart . com / #/ d2yqu6f

Less than three. Less than three


	6. When She Ignores You: Give Her Attention

Antonio didn't know what was wrong, Lovina had been ignoring him all day! He didn't want to ask her why, because she'd probably end up hitting him and calling him a 'stupid tomato bastard.' He tried thinking of any mistakes (or things he'd done that Lovina would consider mistakes) he might have made the day before, but couldn't recall any.

Antonio was mulling this over while sitting on the couch, idly flipping through a worn paperback but not reading the pages. Lovina was cooking in the other room; he could smell it. Normally she would have made him chop up something, or stir while she was concocting a new recipe, but not this time. She had acted like she hadn't heard Antonio's query as to what she was doing, and had gone straight ahead and made herself lunch.

Not that Antonio always had to be the one to cook, he just found it slightly confusing when she went to the trouble of exerting herself (Lovina was one heck of a lazy woman) to make a lunch when Antonio would have gladly made it for her. And eaten it with her, too.

But she hadn't even made enough for him to eat, let alone ask him what he wanted or explained why she was acting like he didn't exist. Antonio was freaking out; normally when he messed up, Lovina would hit him and then forgive him, he wasn't used to this stony silence! Was this Lovi's new method of punishing him for being a 'complete and total moron?' Because if it was, it was definitely working!

Antonio finally decided to leave her alone and moved to another room; maybe if he gave his Lovi some time to herself, then she would calm down.

_You are truly an idiot_, the voice popped up in his head.

_… What am I supposed to do?_ Antonio asked, not finding it odd in the least that he was asking advice from a disembodied voice inside his skull.

_When she ignores you, give her your attention_!

Antonio bit his lip; he didn't want to get head butted or something… But then again, the voice hadn't steered him wrong yet!

He walked into the room Lovina was in, and saw her putting her dishes in the sink. "_Hola_, Lovi!" Antonio said cheerfully, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back into his chest. "_Qué pasa_?"

Lovina didn't answer, just stood there and pouted.

"I can't fix whatever I did if you don't tell me," Antonio smiled, resting his chin on the top of Lovina's head. "So… tell me? _Por favor_?"

"At the meeting," Lovina grumbled, aware that Antonio wouldn't let her go if she didn't answer. Not that that was a bad thing, but she was supposed to be mad at him, and it was hard to be mad at someone that was hugging you. "You spent the entire time talking to my idiot sibling. Can't you pay attention to me in public?"

"… But Lovi, I always do! And you always turn tomato colored and hit me for 'embarrassing' you! So I thought I'd not embarrass you at the meeting this time, and talk to Feli instead!" Antonio knew that Lovina meant the opposite of what she said most of the time; but at the meeting he had wanted to talk to Feli- he hadn't seen the other Italian for a long time!

"… You're an idiot." Lovina turned around and buried her face in Antonio's chest, completely giving up her silence. "A complete, stupid, sexy Spanish, idiot."

Antonio grinned, and hugged his Lovina closer.

Maybe he should start ignoring her more often, if this was the response he got.

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

Yeah yeah, it's longer than usual. I also put more Spanish in it this time~

… But it's really simple Spanish, so I probably don't need to put translations up *is too lazy* *shot*

AND I HAVE A FRENCH CLUB MEETING TOMORROW yay~~~~

Less than three. Less than three.


	7. When She Pulls Away: Pull Her Back

When she pulls away- pull her back

Antonio was worried. Again. About Lovina. Again.

She had been quieter lately, morose, almost. Antonio knew it wasn't about Turkey again; knew that it wasn't another nation making her feel like this.

"Lovi?" He hugged her from behind, silently noticing how she stiffened slightly. "What's for lunch?" Antonio rested his head on hers, breathing in deeply and enjoying the scent of her shampoo. Hey, just because she was sad didn't mean he couldn't appreciate the way she smelled!

"Pasta." Lovina's voice was quiet, almost emotionless. Antonio was starting to panic (Lovina was the cause of all his stress issues); she should have insulted him! Said something like 'of course it's pasta, you fucking dumbass!' Not just named the food and kept cooking! Why was she cooking anyways? Normally it was Antonio's job to cook!

"Lovina." Antonio flipped the stove dial to 'off,' and spun Lovina around to face him. He knew from the expression on her face that she understood the significance of him using her full name, and that he wouldn't stand for any lies. "What's wrong."

Lovina blinked, once, twice, and looked at the floor. Shit. Not a good sign.

"Have you ever thought about… _us_?" She asked, still looking downwards.

"I think about us all the time! Well, mostly, I think about you…" Antonio trailed off when Lovina didn't respond with a huff and a 'stupid.' "Lovina, tell me why you're acting like this."

"Us." She repeated. "It shouldn't work. I'm a total bitch; you're the nicest man in the world. I'm lazy, and I run away at the first sign of fighting. You're always full of energy, and I don't think I've ever seen you back down from a fight without at least three people trying to convince you to. The only things we have in common are tomatoes. It just… shouldn't work out. You deserve someone better than me." Lovina finally looked up, eyes hardened, and the little voice of Francis in Antonio's head went '_Oh shit_!'

"Lovi!" Antonio cried as she wrenched herself out of her grip and walked to the door. _What are you waiting for? When she pulls away- pull her back, you moron_! Antonio didn't stop to think that the voice in his head sounded more like Arthur than Francis, and paid heed to the advice.

He followed Lovina, and grabbed her hands. "Lovi, I do deserve you! Who else is going to make sure I don't accidentally use rotten tomatoes, or get distracted while the stove's on? I need you, Lovi, please don't leave." Antonio used his momentum to yank Lovina back and into his chest, crushing her in a hug. "I'll always pull you back," he whispered into her ear, meaning every word. "Always."

"… Idiot," Lovina said softly, and Antonio grinned. It was going to be all right.

* * *

Authoress' Random Ramble

Ugg. I typed this last night, and it would have been up last night, except ff. net was refusing to load.

Well, thanks for putting up with me and my stupid too-crowded schedule!

Less than three. Less than three.


End file.
